The title of this rant is certainly not the most apt one. There will be perhaps only a few words relating to it, but I’ve lost the will to care.
God is a very complicated weird word. One could say he is the belief centre of the Universe. Others could say, he offers an excuse to blame all your problems at. I’m more often than not the latter. Because I feel that the former is too painful to fathom.
Everyone agrees, that everyone faces challenges in their lives. Challenges is a word given for problems one can overcome. Problems is a word given to those ones that cannot be overcome. But people in their lifetimes come to a point where they encounter a ‘problem’. It destroys a part of them forever. And if that part is huge chunk of them, then they end up losing themselves. I am currently witnessing one such case in close quarters. When a person encounters such an instance, their belief system is shaken to the core. And to a person whose belief system has constantly been rattled for as long as their lifetime, something unhinges. There is no way back for them.
People love to say this to anyone who has a problem in their life. ” There are people who have it much worse”. Yes, there are. So to counter this argument I have to begin elsewhere.
A person who believes in God, knows that he is responsible for everything, including us. This means that he made us. So this means he knows are limitations and our ‘thresholds’. So then why does he go and not only give you experiences that push you to the limit, but completely annihilate it and then when you give up, say you committed a sin and have to bear the punishment in your next life? This reminds me of those huge profit oriented corporate companies.
Doesn’t he know what will break you? Doesn’t he know that if this happens to you, you will have no choice but to leave him? And still he goes ahead and does it, and then to top it all off, he judges you on how badly you ‘gave’ up on him.
I’m sure everyone is familiar with Job’s test of devotion. But I’d like to share another story, which is a part of the Hindu culture. The story revolves around a saint of the ne Sai Baba.
He was a saint with many followers, and one such follower noticed that a woman was crying inconsolably. On inquiring, he found out that she couldn’t bear a child. And in those days, that was a sign of impurity and disability. So she kept crying and crying and spent her life as so . The follower went to Baba, and asked him, “That poor woman is devastated. Can’t you help her?” He replied; “She’s suffering the punishment for her past life’s misgivings.” The woman spent her entire life sobbing. She went to him personally, but to no avail. And she probably died crying.
So my question is how can you be punished for something your body and your mind haven’t done at all? And these are no simple complications of life. These problems are capable of rendering a believer in life and God into a ever complaining and bitter and depressed mess. So then didn’t God know her threshold? After all he made her. This thing infuriatingly has its own term, called a test of faith. And if God knows the amount of faith a person has, then he shouldn’t be so shocked when people leave. I’m sorry you had to read this.